Pages

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Thoughts

Lately I am always wondering what do parents of 'normal' children do. It is a question that I am always wanting to know. I try to imagine what I would do differently if Elizabeth was not given all the challenges she faces. It is pretty accurate to say that the majority of Elizabeth's waking hours are spent on reaching her developmental goals. We do not spend all day drilling her and making her work but we do try to add all her goals into her daily life and through play. During the day there is no TV we do crafts, baking, obstacle courses, her Medek exercises, her AVT goals, play games, play with her toys, sensory activities and read. Along with this she is at physio, OT, gymnastics, riding, swimming and of course her endless Dr.'s appointments.
I watch the mothers at her gymnastics go upstairs together to watch their children as I stay with her class to help Elizabeth. I wonder what do they do at home with their children and what they talk about as a group? I don't begrudge the time we spend with Elizabeth as she is so much fun to be with and everything we do will help with her independence. I just can't help wondering how things would be different. Would I lay back and read a book while she was playing? Would Ivan and I have a different social circle and allow time for ourselves? Would we leave her with a babysitter? Would I still be full time at work? Would Elizabeth be in daycare full time? Would a cold be mere inconvenience, would I even worry about it? Would she have siblings?
What I do know is that with Elizabeth we never take a moment or milestone for granted, the simplicities of sitting in a chair, using a fork, chewing, climbing on the couch and her telling me I 'am the best momma womma there is' will never be missed they are cherished even more.

4 comments:

Sherry C said...

I have 3 kids two typical and one with special needs. so that has allowed me to experience both sides. I think her brothers help to normalize things for Ashley. Being Ashley mom I've learned to not take anything for granted and definitely not sweat the small stuff. I truly believe if Ashley didn't have any delays life would be different but i don't think it would any happier or better just different.


Sherry

Laura said...

I have Asperger syndrome, and although my parents didn't have to be as involved as you do with Elizabeth, my Mom would practice social scenerios with me, help initiate neighborhood games, and be my playmate when I had few childhood friends. Often therapy would be intergrated into games, throwing balls, skipping, identifying objects in bags by touch, conversation skills etc. When my brother and I were little, she spent many hours sitting on the floor playing with us. It was special time then and one of the reasons I still remain very close to her as an adult.

Ellen said...

I used to think a lot about this, too. I used to feel angry that we had so much pressure on us to get stuff done with Max while other parents were free to just enjoy their kids. But, I grew out of that. Having another child has helped.

Kellars Mommy said...

I find myself thinking I could have written several of your posts, you seem to write a lot of what I think..lol...Very good post by the way...